[fic] HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOO

[acchikocchi]

For Moo, because I love her. I'm afraid it's not my best writing and I'm – not quite sure of the characterization, ahem. XD But it's written with love and I hope you find it entertaining anyway. ♥ ♥ ♥

pairing: ...a secret until mananeh finishes reading it. let me say, however, that it is not what you are thinking, no matter what you're thinking. ahaha. (unless you are spurious and know because I've been flailing at you for the last two hours. XD) KAME/A CERTAIN CANADIAN SINGER-SONGWRITER, ALL RIGHT. IT'S CRACK OF THE PUREST KIND.




The bar in Roppongi catered to foreigners, and that was just fine with Kame. The allure of foreign celebrities meant he could drink in peace, and all he wanted to do tonight was forget about everything.

The news of cartoon KAT-TUN's cancellation had come that morning. Kame had simply stood there, a painfully familiar feeling of horror swelling up inside him, as their manager talked about time slots and competition and that they shouldn't take it too badly - they'd probably get another opportunity in another few months or so. Kame wasn't listening. Ratings, ratings, ratings - his own personal nightmare for the past year and a half.

Unsurprisingly, Nakamaru seemed to be taking it hardest out of the rest of the group. "Cheer up," Koki said, thumping him on the back, "you heard what the man said, we'll have another chance soon."

"Right," Nakamaru said, nodding, "that's right," but Kame understood. It wasn't about chances. It was about the fact that they had failed. It was about how it was their fault. Nakamaru, the default MC, would understand that very well.

Jin had left as soon as the manager let them go. Nothing bothered Jin any more.

Someone slid into the seat next to Kame. Kame glanced over briefly; it was a foreigner, a man with spiky brown hair and wide eyes, who gave Kame a smile. Kame returned the smile politely and was about to return to his drink (his second one of the night) when the man spoke. "Konnichiwa," he said, still smiling widely, with an extremely bad accent.

"Ah, hello," Kame said, a little taken aback, and nodded politely.

"Come here often?" the man said in English, propping his elbow on the bar and raising his eyebrows.

For a brief moment, Kame was frozen with the temporary paralysis induced by rapid English he couldn't understand at all. Then he shook it off and put on his professional face – he knew in theory how to deal with this.

"Sorry," he said in English, "I – can't – can't – ah – can't speak - English. Eh – Japanese okay?"

"Can't speak a fucking word," the man said cheerfully. Kame blinked at him. "Er - no Japanese, sorry," he said.

Kame understood that, at least. He smiled again – no hard feelings – and turned back to his drink only to find it empty.

He felt a tap on his arm. "Let me buy you another one," the man said when he turned.

"Eh?" Faced with total incomprehension, again, Kame fell back on a smile, as always.

The man signaled the bartender. "Another one for both of us," he said, indicating himself and Kame, and Kame thought he got it.

"He's buying another round?" Kame asked in Japanese; the bartender nodded.

So even offscreen, foreigners really were as outgoing as everyone said. He supposed it could be awkward sometimes, but today Kame didn't mind someone just being friendly. He ventured another smile; it was returned with interest.
He knew a little English, after all – he could make an effort, too.

"Thank you," he said hesitantly.

"No problem," the man said. "I'm Rufus." At Kame's blank look, he backtracked. "My name is Rufus," he said slowly, and held out a hand.

My name is - Kame understood that. He shook obediently. "Ru – ru – "

"Rufus," the man repeated with a smile, procuring a pen from thin air and writing it out on one of the napkins. R-U-F-U-S.

Kame pointed at himself. "Kamenashi," he said.

The man – Rufus – looked at him blankly.

Kame rethought. "Ah – pen?" he said, holding out his hand with a questioning smile. Rufus grinned and handed it over. Kame wrote his nickname on the napkin in slow, careful English capitals, and pushed it back over.

Rufus glanced at the napkin. Then his eyebrows rose and he smirked. "Your name is came?" he said.

Kame frowned. "Kame," he repeated.

Rufus laughed out loud. "I was just kidding. Kidding? Understand? Er – joke?"

"Ah, yes, joke, joke," Kame said in English, nodding quickly, smiling to show he understood. For some reason this apparently made Rufus laugh again.

"Okay. Kame. Kame, right?" At the sound of his name, Kame nodded. "You're really cute, Kame."

Cute. Kame knew that word, too. Against his own will – and probably due at least in part to the alcohol – he felt a flush rising on his cheeks. Unsurprisingly, this made Rufus grin yet again.

Mercifully, at that moment, the bartender brought over their drinks. Against his better judgement, Kame drank deeply, grateful for the excuse to look away. He couldn't be sure – he wasn't fluent, and it could all be a simple misunderstanding – but he thought - it seemed like this stranger was trying to pick him up.

Kame was no stranger to come-ons from both men and women, but the men usually weren't as overt. It was – a certain look, a loaded phrase. Not buying him a drink and leaning forward and telling him he was cute. Unwillingly, he thought of Jin, Jin and his looseness after returning from America, his dark eyes and quick smile, the indefinable change surrounding him that Kame hadn't been able to identify. In that moment, he thought he knew what was different about Jin.

"Kame?" came the sound of a voice surprisingly close to his ear, and Kame turned to find Rufus leaning toward him. "All right there? You're okay?"

"Mm," Kame confirmed, "okay." He smiled again, a different smile. An inviting smile.

As he expected, Rufus immediately understood the difference. An answering smile spread across his face. "Good," he said, and winked.

Kame did his best to ignore his flushed cheeks and knocked back the rest of his drink in one gulp. When he put the glass down, he saw Rufus leaning back, observing him appreciatively, and with an effort he didn't look away.

"Should we get out of here?" Rufus said in a low voice, leaning forward again. "You – " he pointed at Kame, "me – " he pointed at himself, "go somewhere?" He walked two fingers along the bar.

Face hot, a little dizzy, Kame nodded.

They stood up and left the bar.

* * *

Date: 24.01.2008
Time: 10:50 AM
To: Akanishi Jin
From: Kamenashi Kazuya

Akanishi. There's something I want to talk to you about. When are you free?

Comments

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

YOU SHOULD BE YOURS IS THE ONLY PINFIC I READ

LKDSASLDFSDLF NEVER YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

AKAME FOREVER

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

AWWW ♥ ♥ ♥

HAVE YOU WATCHED SUMMARY BACKSTAGE? BECAUSE IF NOT I DARE YOU TO

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

IHU. ♥

I HAVE. PARTLY TO SEE WHAT ALL THE SQUEEING ABOUT YAMAPI WAS ABOUT

I DIDN'T GET IT

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

...ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU DON'T LIKE YAMAPI?!

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

...YES?

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

BUT - BUT - BUT WHY NOT? YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOVE HIM OR ANYTHING BY WHY

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

I, UM. HE JUST. UH. ISN'T ANYONE SPECIAL TO ME...? I TRIED, BECAUSE EVERYONE INEXPLICABLY SEEMS TO ADORE HIM, AND I WANTED TO GET INTO THAT WORLD TOO, BUT IT WAS NOT TO BE

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

Okay. Well. AS LONG AS YOU DON'T ACTIVELY HATE HIM OR ANYTHING.

...*eyes*

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

Mostly I just ignore him! EXCEPT WHEN PIN-FANS DO TEH KAME-BASHING THING, THEN I GET MAD AND HATE HIM FOR A BIT. BECAUSE I LOVE KAME, HOW CAN THEY DO THAT TO HIM. ;_;

HATING TAKES TOO MUCH EFFORT, THOUGH

I JUST WRITE AKAME PORN THEN

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

SJKDF;LSD BUT THAT'S NOT YAMAPI'S FAULT! O_O ALSO I DON'T THINK I KNOW ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY HATES KAME. UM. I HOPE THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN WITH THE ONES I DON'T KNOW? I think as you said it is sad to waste all that effort on hating a pop star. ^^;

....Now Pin fans that hate Akame, that's a whoooole 'nother story. XD (AND I HAVE SEEN WITH MY OWN EYES PLENTY OF PIN-BASHING GOING ON SO I THINK THAT ONE'S PRETTY EVEN.)

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

I. I DON'T RLY LIKE YAMAPI. BUT WHEN KAME BASHING OCCURS, IT IS USUALLY WITH LOADS OF PI-ADORATION IN THE SAME POST SO IT IS KIND OF NATURAL, ISNT IT? RIGHT? SFJKLSJFLA. Yes, it is, really. I mean, there's so much shiny to squee over, why waste on negativity.

Oooh, ship wars is a whole 'nother story! I am, asflskfor, not even GOING THERE. *scuttles away*

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST WRITE FIC INSTEAD OF WARRING OVER SHIPS I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

BUT I DON'T BLAME THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE JIN BY HATING ON THEIR FAVORITES. ;_; Oh well life is life, fandom is fandom, etc. And hey, I hear these "flame wars" are nothing compared to POT. XD

TOTAL AGREEMENT ON THE FIC THING. MAKE LOVE PORN, NOT WAR.

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

EVEN WHEN IT IS LIKE 'A IS SO EW BECAUSE OF THIS, OMG LOOK AT B HE IS SO AWESOME WHEN HE DOES THE SAME THING AS A' AND OTHER STUPID THINGS THAT I SHOULD NOT BE SO SENSITIVE OVER.

SKLFSKDKDSEW IDK. I feel really sad when Kame is bashed because he seems to be so misunderstood all the time. le sigh. akame, what have you done to me I used to be sane. SANE. ._.

...I HAD WRITTEN THAT SAME STATEMENT - EXCEPT I STRIKED OUT PORN INSTEAD OF LOVE - TO SOMEONE VERY RECENTLY. AHAHA.

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

XD It happens to the best of us. The sanity thing, I mean. YOU'RE IN GOOD COMPANY, AT LEAST?

Ahahahaha! CLEARLY THAT MEANS IT SHOULD HAPPEN. OBVIOUSLY.

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

WAIT. W-WILL YOU HATE ME NOW. ;_;

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

....IF I SAY YES WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

..........YOU ARE USING A KAME ICON ON ME WHY THAT IS JUST UNFAIR

IF I LIE AND SAY YES WOULD YOU STILL HATE ME

...WAIT. YOU ARE LYING ABOUT HATING ME ANYWAY!

OH MER ILU2

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA YES I CHEAT ALL THE TIME

....YET YOU SAW THROUGH MY CLEVER PLOT?! CURSES. FOILED AGAIN.

I MELT IN THE FACE OF HEARTS AND SMILEYS AND JIN TELLING ME HE LOVES ME ASKDJFL;SF ♥ ♥ ♥

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

HAI HAI SO I HAVE COME TO SEE

...........PIN LOWERS YOUR IQ, DID YOU NOT KNOW IT IS A SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN FACT

NO-ONE CAN RESIST JIN I USE THAT FACT SHAMELESSLY

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

....HM, I DO THINK I HAVE READ ABOUT THOSE STUDIES SOMEWHERE. IT SOUNDS FAMILIAR.

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

ARE YOU QUITE SURE YOU DID NOT PARTICIPATE IN THEM

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

.....ALL RIGHT YOU'VE GOT ME I FABRICATED CONDUCTED THEM

[matchynishi.livejournal.com]

SO IF PIN LOWERS YOUR IQ WILL AKAME... UH. MAKE YOU A WANGSTY EMOKID OR A PORNSTAR...? SINCE THOSE ARE THE TWO MOST COMMON KINDS OF AKAME FICS FOUND U KNO

SINCE YOU CONDUCTED THESE STUDIES AND ALL