acchikocchi | [fic] Natural Habitat (Ryo/Aiba)

Title: Natural Habitat
Pairing: Ryo/Aiba
Rating: PG-13?
Warnings: ...crack. obviously.
Notes: I can't blame this entirely on

corimari, but it's not all my fault, either. XD See her post for (slightly) more details on how this came about. And if you haven't already, GO READ HER VERSION. I just - yeah. I don't know what to say about this one. Pure, undiluted crack. XD

Aiba has never really talked with Nishikido much, but he’s heard stories. So when he finds himself trapped alone (where’s Jun when he needs him?) with the kid, he decides the best way to get out alive is to treat the whole thing like just another episode of Shimura Doubutsuen. He’s handled tigers, after all; he can deal with some bratty kouhai who probably doesn’t even come up to his chin.

Nishikido cuts right to the chase. “Arashi, right? You’re the dumb one, aren’t you.”

“Ha?” Aiba’s not dumb. He has a naturally inquisitive mind and a high level of emotional intelligence. Sho said so. (And Sho's smart. Aiba bets Nishikido didn’t even go to university.)

“The one who does the experiments. And plays with the animals.” Nishikido smirks. “I hear you almost got killed a couple times. Guess it’s a good thing they don’t have an IQ test for Johnny’s, huh?”

Aiba’s eyes go wide. “Whoa,” he says, backing away. “Scary!”

Nishikido frowns at him. “What?”

“Nothing.” Aiba gives him a big smile. That was right - try to act friendly and unthreatening. Take them off their guard.

There’s no narration, so he’ll have to do it in his head. Preferring to immediately take the offensive, the wild Osakan poisontongue’s most dangerous weapon is, as the name suggests, his lethally venomous tongue -

Nishikido eyes him, but drops it. “Where’s the rest of your group, anyway?”

Aiba shrugs. “I think Sho-chan said something about a phone call, and Matsujun wants to talk with the costumers, unless it’s the stylists, I don’t remember which, and as for Nino and Oh-chan, well, I don’t actually know for sure, but knowing them they’re probably – "

“All right, all right,” Nishikido says, cutting him off. “I didn’t ask for an essay.” He crosses his arms over his chest, which is probably supposed to look intimidating, but just looks funny considering Nishikido is a whole head shorter than him.

Despite its relatively tiny size, the poisontongue considers no foe too daunting.

Aiba doesn’t really realize he’s giggling to himself until Nishikido says belligerently, “Hey, what’re you laughing at?”

“You’re really short,” Aiba says without thinking, and Nishikido’s eyes narrow.

And this is the part that gets him into trouble on the show, too, when he knows the animal is dangerous and antagonizes it anyway. When Nishikido stalks toward him he scrambles backward and tries frantically to calculate the odds of survival. Nishikido probably isn’t going to actually get physical, but if it did come down to a fight – Aiba’s tall, yeah, but he has a feeling that’s not going to matter to much.

Aiba’s back up agains the door now and Nishikido’s closing in, and he opens his mouth and blurts out the first thing that pops into his head.

“Very very danger!”

Nishikido stares at him. “What the fuck?”

“Danger,” Aiba repeats. “You are crazy.” He hopes Nishikido doesn’t speak English, because if he does then Aiba’s just digging his own grave deeper.

Nishikido stares some more, with this look on his face that says “I can’t believe I exist on the same plane as you.” He seems to have a lot of practice with it.

“Whatever,” he says finally. “How about you shut up?” Then he’s yanking Aiba’s head down and whoa, that wasn’t the type of “getting physical” Aiba had been thinking of.

On the other hand, Nishikido apparently has a lot of practice using his mouth for other things besides insulting people, and Aiba goes with it. This is far from the strangest thing that’s ever happened to him, after all. Nishikido’s really good, actually, so it isn’t too hard to close his eyes and grip Nishikido’s hips and make low, pleased sounds into Nishikido’s mouth.

Nishikido’s thumbing the buttons of his jeans open with one hand – ooh, coordinated, Aiba’s very impressed – and before Aiba quite knows what’s happening, he’s got a grip on Aiba’s cock and is pulling him off in long, practiced strokes. Aiba comes with a little gasp of surprise, but it’s a good surprise. He slumps back against the wall, a little dazed, and Nishikido smirks at him. Aiba gives him a happy if somewhat confused smile.

The poisontongue’s mating habits remain a mystery. It gives no warning before its sudden advances, and appears not to require any particular attachment to its partners. It does, however, seem to take great pride in its mating prowess.

Aiba giggles.

Nishikido glares at him. “Shut up.”

Current Mood: just - what. XD
Current Music: Kanjani8 - Misetekure

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[fic] Natural Habitat (Ryo/Aiba)

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