ok here goes: (I actually contemplated if it wouldn't be easier just to c/p the entire fic and put my comments into it, since well. THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG. oh well, DEAL WITH IT.)
what's great about this fic is obvi the parallelism between DV and Zaida (ZV?) but also the way it isn't, precisely, parallelism, more like repetition with a difference, I suppose. I think this is a fic it's hard to read and not think about how their fathers have influenced them. they're both reacting to their dads, trying so desperately not to be like them. and I think Zaida's, her concern, her hatred of comparison to DV, how she relates to him and relates herself to him; she fears and resents being compared to her dad, since how could she be? which is why the ending is so beautiful, of course, when she realizes she can be his daughter but also be herself.
but what's so incredible to me about this fic is how her arc relates back to DV. obviously he fears being like his father and his life, personally and professionally, is a reaction against that. and if Zaida sees her dad in herself and then covers it up and fights against it, DV...he has to have done that too, and is still doing it, but the level of it would be just so monumentally different. like, what would it be like if, every time you lost your temper, you're terrified you're going to lose control too. every time you falter, every time you fail to find goal, you're trapped on a metal platform, your helmet in place, dropping down by mechanical fits and starts into a coal mine. what would that kind of constant, I don't know, terror and claustrophobia do to you? no one he pushes himself so hard. and this fic captures that so well, how it would effect him, the person he would fight to become. but what's also so beautiful about it is the way that DV can parallel the good things his father has done for him, how he can pass on to Zaida only the best of what he received. it's a remarkable and a beautiful relationship, and I think that's what makes this fic so powerful to me. not just awaking from the nightmare of history, to be super pretentious, but fighting off the sleep paralysis and then being able to learn from it and pass that on. and Zaida struggling to come to terms with who she is and being free from that past, being able to be ignorant of it, being able to resent her father for softer but no less important things.
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what's great about this fic is obvi the parallelism between DV and Zaida (ZV?) but also the way it isn't, precisely, parallelism, more like repetition with a difference, I suppose. I think this is a fic it's hard to read and not think about how their fathers have influenced them. they're both reacting to their dads, trying so desperately not to be like them. and I think Zaida's, her concern, her hatred of comparison to DV, how she relates to him and relates herself to him; she fears and resents being compared to her dad, since how could she be? which is why the ending is so beautiful, of course, when she realizes she can be his daughter but also be herself.
but what's so incredible to me about this fic is how her arc relates back to DV. obviously he fears being like his father and his life, personally and professionally, is a reaction against that. and if Zaida sees her dad in herself and then covers it up and fights against it, DV...he has to have done that too, and is still doing it, but the level of it would be just so monumentally different. like, what would it be like if, every time you lost your temper, you're terrified you're going to lose control too. every time you falter, every time you fail to find goal, you're trapped on a metal platform, your helmet in place, dropping down by mechanical fits and starts into a coal mine. what would that kind of constant, I don't know, terror and claustrophobia do to you? no one he pushes himself so hard. and this fic captures that so well, how it would effect him, the person he would fight to become. but what's also so beautiful about it is the way that DV can parallel the good things his father has done for him, how he can pass on to Zaida only the best of what he received. it's a remarkable and a beautiful relationship, and I think that's what makes this fic so powerful to me. not just awaking from the nightmare of history, to be super pretentious, but fighting off the sleep paralysis and then being able to learn from it and pass that on. and Zaida struggling to come to terms with who she is and being free from that past, being able to be ignorant of it, being able to resent her father for softer but no less important things.
quote comment(s) to come.